This is why feminism is attractive to so many. In my humble opinion, feminism is a learned coping mechanism for dealing with the curse. The formal definition of feminism is simply the movement for social, political, and economic equality between women and men. If you’ve bought into the Bill of Rights at any level, you can probably embrace that general idea. But feminists are perceived by non-feminists as seeking more than equality – they are perceived as seeking domination. Note: I'm mostly using the term feminist in a stereotypical fashion, and frankly, I know many humble godly women who have "feminist" views that don't fit this stereotype. The term is imperfect and imprecisely defined. Nevertheless, I think that the following discussion fits a strong portion of women who identify as feminists--women who are neither seeking dominance over men or simple equality with men. In my opinion, what these women long for is INDEPENDENCE.
Independence – freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. www.dictionary.comMy suspicion is that most strong feminist women were at some point likely seriously wounded (abandoned, abused, used) by a man they trusted somewhere along the way (father, brother, teacher, pastor). For such a woman, feminism isn’t her living out the curse – feminism is her response to the curse. If you meet a woman who is strongly advocating her personal independence from men, I recommend that you don’t challenge her on her views or engage with her in debate (at least not if you actually love and care about her). I recommend asking her about her earlier experiences with men. Who hurt her? Who abandoned her? She may easily admit that her pursuit of financial, spiritual, and emotional independence is a result of some guy seriously hurting her (or hurting her mother). Or maybe it's simply a result of the universal abandonment of her by the men in her life. Her dad, her boss, a former boyfriend, husband, or pastor--someone hurt her or abandoned her and exposed to her a weakness in her that she hated. Feminism is her coping mechanism.
Why is feminism attractive? Because weakness in women IS a problem. Paul affirms this in 2 Timothy 3:6. Scripture never calls women to weakness. Weak women attract abusers. And a feminist’s hatred of weakness in herself and others is not her problem! The problem is when feminism points to the wrong answer to weakness. Independence from others and sole reliance on ourselves is not the long term answer to abandonment or oppressive rule by men. It's simply a coping mechanism.
As Christian women, do we have anything better than the coping mechanism of insulating ourselves from a need for men by cultivating self-reliance at every level? In Christ, we certainly do! It’s counter cultural and maybe doesn’t seem insulating at all. You could argue it actually makes you more vulnerable. But there is strength to be had in Christ that allows you to remain in a place of vulnerability—to remain open to those who have the power to hurt you because you have embraced your role in their lives. You stay vulnerable because God has called you to help them. You lay down self-protective manipulation and endure uncomfortable, faith testing situations because, simply put, you are called to be like Christ.
How do we do this? Why do we do this? In Ephesians 1-3, Paul peels back the multiple layers of all Christ has accomplished for us on the cross. The gospel is both simple and deep. You can sum it up simply (while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us). But there is also great benefit to unpacking the depth of the gospel –what Paul calls our spiritual blessings in Christ which he details in Ephesians 1.
Paul tells of the Spirit in us who is God’s deposit that assures us God will not default on His promise of these spiritual blessings to His children. He tells us we have the same power transforming us that raised Christ from the dead. And though we were dead in our sins and by our very nature deserving of God’s wrath, in Christ we are now God’s adopted children with the full rights of sons and daughters in His household. We are fully reconciled with God and can boldly enter His presence to find help for everything we need.
Paul is clear in Ephesians on the solution to the curse. In Christ, we are finally equipped to deal with the effects of the fall. We are equipped to apply the ultimate weapon against the depravity in others – gospel grace. And that same grace also equips us against the depravity within ourselves. The Spirit within us works outwardly what He is doing inwardly. We can become holy because He is making us holy. We can work out our salvation with fear and trembling because God is working in us to give us the desire and ability to do His will.
Paul then begins Ephesians 5 with the exhortation to be imitators of God. He calls us back through Christ to what God created in perfection when He made us His image bearers. In particular, all of us are called to love sacrificially like Christ (5:1). And all of us, male and female, are called to serve one another out of reverence for Christ (5:21). After setting up this foundation, then and only then can we hear the classic instructions to husbands and wives.
What does marriage look like between believers who are IN Christ and being conformed to the image of God? Though all of us are called to love, the husband is called to give a particular example of sacrificial love in marriage. And just as all of us are called to serve one another, the wife is called to give a particular example of submission in her home. The husband in Christ stops either lording his authority over his wife or disengaging altogether. The wife stops being so needy OF him that she can’t be a help TO him.
The answer to the curse is not self-reliance. It’s God reliance. It’s not self-protection. It’s tucking ourselves under the wing of the Almighty. And it’s not staying engaged just to be run over. It’s standing strong in our identity in Christ and helping our husband using God’s example as our strong helper as our guide. The answer to the need presented in the curse of Genesis 3:16 and well articulated by feminist movement is to put on the image of God. It is enough that the servant be as her master. “Be like Christ” is the sum and substance to the answer of the curse for women.
* I have inadequately addressed the single woman who feels she must learn independence simply because God hasn't brought her a spouse. That's a long subject, and if there's interest, I'll post something else in the coming weeks.